The faintest line you ever did see

Well folks, this is it. I MAY be pregnant!!! When I used to think about finding out I was pregnant I imagined I would gasp, cry, jump up and down, laugh until I cried some more and eventually fall to my knees and thank God for this miracle. In reality, the big moment played out slightly different than that.

So after the first negative test on Thursday morning, I wasn't that discouraged because of the spotting, which I took for possible implantation bleeding. On Saturday I tested again with my second digital test but to my dismay, I got another 'Not Pregnant'.

I didn't completely lose hope, though I did get discouraged, because I knew if I did have implantation bleeding just a few days prior, there still wouldn't be enough Hcg in my system yet to read positive on a test. Saturday was a busy day so i pretty much forgot about the negative test and wasn't planning on taking another test for a couple more days.

But then I woke up on Sunday having to pee so bad. I have been having to pee like crazy every morning when I wake up the past few days and when I do, I always want to take a PT! Then, Mark asked if I was going to take a test today. Well, that decided it for me!

I jumped out of bed and raced to the bathroom. I was all out of digital tests and was down to my dollar store tests that I hadn't used before. For these, you have to pee in a cup and pick up a couple drops with a dropper and drop them onto a test. Mark did the scientific part for me (ha, is that gross?) and after a few minutes I saw the familiar single pink line.

"Nope," I said quickly. "Didn't think so."

I washed my hands and started to get ready for church while Mark is sitting on the toilet, staring at the test.

"Hey, I think there's a second line here..."

"What???" I said. I immediately grabbed the test and stared at it really hard.

"Where? I only see one?"

"If you hold it up to the light, you can see a faint second line. What does that mean?"

I held it up to the light and then held it down. Looked away and then looked back. Put it close to my head and far away. Finally, my eyes began to see this faint second line, though I thought for sure I was now imagining it.

I have read all about pregnancy test results and I knew that a second line, no matter how faint, signaled pregnancy. The fainter line, the less Hcg you have but there IS some there and Hcg only exists when you're pregnant.

So was I pregnant? Was there really a second line? Try and see for yourself.

Ha. If you're wondering where the second line is, welcome to my world. I have also read about evaporation lines which can result after the alotted time has gone by, due to some of the urine absorbing into that part of the test. Was that all it was?

I thought about it most of the day while at church. We work in the nursery so all day I was reminded of children and how I soon may have one of my own. One of the other nursery leaders even asked me, "Are you guys going to have kids soon?"

"Yes," I told her. "Yes, we are, very soon." But how soon??? February? Because if that in fact was a positive result then our little peanut will be due on February 13!!! I  don't want to get too excited though because clearly I don't really know yet. Ahhh, only time will tell.

I plan on taking another pregnancy test on Wednesday. Maybe that will be my big "OMG I'M PREGNANT!!!" moment because it definitely wasn't today!

Oh well, I'm thinking positive thoughts until then...